My Left Footloose

She Will Tear Up The Whole town Until She Finds Ivan (Or, Everybody's Seeing Shiites These Days)

It's been a bad week for Pepa. Her lover Ivan left her, and his psycho ex-wife is hounding her. Her doctor tells her she's pregnant. Her best friend Candela is wanted by the police for her association with terrorist. And to top it off, after a close encounter with an alien spaceship, she just can't stop growing. But can her now-Brobdingnagian stature help her find Ivan, protect Candela, and foil a terrorist plot?

Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Cheat sheet Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman | Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Contributor the Jersey City Mods
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Come in Pieces | Parting More Than The Heavens

Ah, they just don't make them like this anymore.

Eat the Cookie! (It's Made With Reese's Pieces)

The Dollanger children move to their grandparents' summer home under the condition, imposed by their stern grandmother (Louise Fletcher), that they remain sequestered in the attic and never venture downstairs. Their strange new life of implied incest and sugared donuts is threatened when an invading force of extraterrestrials also moves into the attic. Mayhem ensues. Memorable scenes of oldest daughter Cathy (Kristy Swanson) going all Slayer on the ETs.

Alien Flowers in the Attic

Cheat sheet Aliens in the Attic | Flowers in the Attic

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I'm Every Woman | Quit Pickin' On My Girlfriend!

Aliens in the Attic opens tomorrow. We fear for the future of humanity.

Disney May Not Approve of This One

A pair of alien children (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig), apparently abandoned by their parents on Earth to try and avert an invasion, enlist the help of a pair of cowboys (Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal) and a cabbie (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) to help them evade the evil forces hunting them and get them back home. But an unusual bond develops between the cowboys, leading to a night of passion that the children shouldn’t have been allowed to watch, and which makes the cabbie strangely thoughtful.

Race to Brokeback Mountain

Cheat sheet Race to Witch Mountain | Brokeback Mountain

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Doc | I feel like I’ve been in a coma for the past twenty years, and I’m just now waking up.

This is just wrong. On every conceivable level. But you’re going to watch it anyway, aren’t you?

Nuclear War Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

When young Jennifer Cavelleri-Ripper (Ali McGraw) dies of leukemia, her husband, General Jack D. Ripper, driven insane by grief, blames her illness on Russian contamination of the water supply and launches an atomic attack on the Soviet Union. Peter Sellers plays multiple roles (including a priest and an oncologist) and a young Tommy Lee Jones debuts as a bomb-riding cowpoke.

Dr. Strangelove Story

Cheat sheet Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb | Love Story

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I First Became Aware of it, Mandrake, During the Physical Act of Love | Love Is Blind

Here's a nice little romantic ditty with, um, fireworks in the background.

SECOND YOUTUBE CLIP Your humble editor directs your attention to this tune from Love Story, for obvious reasons.

One small step for love, one giant leap for the dark side of the moon.

A dissolving fifteen year marriage is saved when the most dangerous universal crime forces kidnap a couple (Albert Finney and Diane Keaton) to a quiet Moonbase Waste Disposal Plant.

Shoot The Moonbase

Cheat sheet Shoot The Moon | Moonbase

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Woof! How Can I Help You Today? Grrrrr... Woof! | Tannis, Anyone?

It's a marvelous night for a moonwalk.

He Rode The Fast Lane Out Of This World.

An upper-class American drop-out (Jack Nicholson) picks up work on an alien spaceship with three furry aliens (Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans). Upon landing in the dressing room of a sorority house, our heroes enlist the assistance of some girls (Geena Davis, Karen Black, Sally Struthers, Susan Anspach, and Ashley Judd) in their quest for the perfect breakfast.

Five Easy Earthgirls

Cheat sheet Five Easy Pieces | Earth Girls Are Easy

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Hold the Chicken | Never Give Up! Never Surrender! (And Don't Panic.)

Speaking of earth girls, here's Forbidden Planet starring Anne Francis and The Robot.

Swimming Round And Round Like The Deadly Hand Of A Radium Clock

Frankie and Annette spend their last days on Earth frolicking on the sands of Australia's shores, awaiting the radioactive cloud that will bring an end to all bongo-playing beach bums forever. Even Erich Von Zipper on a submarine can't delay the inevitable.

On The Beach Blanket Bingo

Cheat sheet On The Beach | Beach Blanket Bingo

Contributor The Jersey City Mods
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Am A Lowly Abject Turd... 'Tis A Puzzlement! | Rain Today With A 50% Chance For Tomorrow

Here's Pee-Wee Herman doing "Surfing Bird" in Back To The Beach, which looks to be the post-apocalyptic sequel to On The Beach Blanket Bingo. Note that the crowd looks kinda mutant. Or is it just that this was the '80s?

And of course here's Annette singing "Ride The Wild Surf."

The Power of a Broken Heart

In 1920s Paris, a young man (Rupert Friend) spurned by an older women (Michelle Pfeiffer) retreats into fantasy, where he travels a post-apocalyptic wasteland with Melanie Griffith to find a robot replacement for his lost love.

Chéri 2000

Cheat sheet Chéri | Cherry 2000

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Double In-Demme-nity, or, Instead of the Wedding March They Played "Goodbye Horses" | Crying God for England, Harry, and Mr. Zorg!

Chéri opens today, and looks like a delightful costume drama. Take a peek at the trailer.

Giant Transforming Robots Saw Me Naked!

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) heads off to college, only to find that Decepticons have taken over the Alpha Beta fraternity, and the whole Greek Council! Only with the help of the Autobots in the reject fraternity of Lambda Lambda Lambda can Sam hope to mount a war of pranks and make the world safe for the socially challenged!

Transformers: Revenge of the Nerds

Cheat sheet Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen | Revenge of the Nerds

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Bruckheimer’s Feelgood Classic – Fun for the Whole Family! | Lecter: Those Nerds Are a Threat to Our Way of Life

The Tri-Lams and Omega Mu talent segment from Revenge of the Nerds. You just know that some of those instruments turn into robots!

For those of you living on the moon, the new Transformers movie opens today... to spectacularly bad reviews. For some tasty schadenfreude (or even if you're just a connoisseur of awesome movie review writing) check out io9's "Michael Bay Finally Made an Art Movie". And here's the flippin' trailer. Lots of CGI and Megan Fox... and I think there's CGI Megan Fox, too. ~ Jane

In Space, There Can Be Only One

A police marshall (Sean Connery), working for a mining colony on Jupiter's moon Io, discovers that an organized crime ring smuggling a drug called "Quickening" is run by a brutal immortal warrior from the Russian steppes (Clancy Brown). In a surprise plot twist, the marshall is revealed to be another immortal, originally from ancient Egypt, and he recruits and trains a third (!) immortal warrior (Christopher Lambert), who is from the highlands of Scotland, to battle the drug kingpin. Much violence and explosive decompression ensues.

Outlander

Cheat sheet Outland | Highlander

Contributor christo4o
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These There Can Be Only One (Way to Organize My Record Collection)! | Fire All Your Guns And Explode Into Space

Never Give Up! Never Surrender! (And Don't Panic.)

Arthur Dent and his friend Ford Prefect hitch a ride on a ship built from fictional specs by aliens and captained by a crew of actors in spandex suits. As the crew/cast attempt to stop the Vogons from destroying the Earth (and the actors' careers) to build an interplanetary bypass, Arthur discovers that the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is something about the number 42 and the naive faith of innocents in distress.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy Quest 

Cheat sheet The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy | Galaxy Quest

Contributor christo4o 
Editor jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These By Grabthar's Hammer! | I Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing

Is Alan Rickman sexier as a disaffected actor with latex prosthetics on his head or as a dangerously depressed robot? You decide.

And I Would Walk 250,000 Miles

Astronaut Sam (Johnny Depp) is the only resident of a helium-mining station on the Moon. Or at least he thinks he is. But when he starts seeing other people - an auto mechanic named Benny and his schizophrenic sister Joon - he wonders if the isolation is affecting his sanity. Are they hallucinations? Aliens? As he begins to fall in love with Joon, and the barren lunar surface inexplicably begins to resemble Spokane's Riverfront Park, Sam ultimately must face a brain-boggling personal revelation: that he will grow up to become Captain Jack Sparrow.

Benny and Moon

Cheat sheet Benny and Joon | Moon

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Cindy You Need Help. No, Cindy! No, no!  | Some People are Politicians. I'm a Photographer Taking Pictures of Drug Dealers In Bad Blond Wigs

Remember the episode of How I Met Your Mother when this was the only song that could play in the Pontiac Fiero's tape deck? Run this clip and the tune will get stuck in your head for at least twelve hours. Guaranteed.

The science fiction thriller Moon opens today.

Neuralizer Vs. Cattle Bolt Gun

Texas Sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) and his deputy James Edwards (Will Smith) are in pursuit of wandering killer Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), whose outre hairstyle is the first clue that he's not really human, but rather a blood-sucking extraterrestrial arachnid. (Chigurh = Chigger. Get it? Heh.)

No Country for Old Men In Black

Cheat sheet No Country For Old Men | Men In Black

Contributor Philmchick
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Double Your Tommy Lee, Double Your Fun (Yes, we did the sequel first. So sue us.) | What's the Most You Ever Lost in a Coin Toss?

The General Broke His Ankle, So We Had To Haul Him Around On A Sled.

John Wayne, Richard Burton, Dennis Quaid, and Jake Gyllenhaal race a glacier to invade Normandy, defeat the Nazis, and reverse global warming. Spectacular special effects as the troop ships surf freezing tidal waves over entrenched German positions on the beaches.

The Longest Day After Tomorrow

Cheat sheet The Longest Day | The Day After Tomorrow

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Like Al Gore, Only Without the Cuddly Nobel Prize | Fighting Men From the Sky

What’s missing from this movie? Iron Maiden and Tom Hanks!

Live Long, Prosper, and Tell Funnier Jokes

Aging Vulcan filmmaker Spock (Woody Allen) looks back upon his youth and remembers his great friendship with James T. Kirk, the muse and inspiration for his films.

Startrek Memories

Cheat sheet Star Trek | Stardust Memories

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These An Unexamined Double Life | Not The Blow-Drier You're Looking For

Star Trek is still kicking booty at the box office. If you haven't seen it, here's another trailer to entice you.

An arm, clad in tight, gleaming spandex, reached from the water…

In war-torn dark ages England, King Arthur (Nigel Terry) rises to power, bolstered by his round table of mutants and the enigmatic wizard Xavier (Patrick Stewart, who also plays Leondegrance, Arthur’s father-in-law). The glory that is Camelot’s School for the Gifted is short-lived, however, as the rivalry between Lancelot (Nicholas Clay) and Wolverine for the love of Queen Guinevere (Famke Janssen) tears the round table apart, leaving them vulnerable to Arthur’s illegitimate son, Magneto (Ian McKellan).

X-Calibur

Cheat sheet X-Men | Excalibur

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Evolution, Revolution – What’s the Diff? | Things That Go SNIKKKT! in the Night

A very impressive recut of the Excalibur trailer. Nice work, guys!

**

We were just outside Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when Michael Crichton's film option began to take effect.

A crazed journalist and his 300 lb Samoan lawyer travel to the Mojave Desert to cover a motorcycle race, but end up encountering what appears to be a perfectly spherical space ship from Earth's future. Both characters experience strange manifestations which they first attribute to the sphere, but then realize are nothing more than the effects of bad blotter acid and cheap ether.

Sphere and Loathing in Las Vegas

Cheat sheet Sphere | Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Contributor Steve
Editor Steve

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Thank Heaven for Little Girls | Bonding with Mom

I actually saw this when it first aired in 1988. Hunter S. Thompson and Carly Simon are guests of David Letterman on an episode taped inside the Helen Hayes Suite of the Milford Plaza Hotel. I wish I'd been on something the night I saw it, because extreme surrealism without the safety net of massive amounts of weed or alcohol is not an easy thing to handle.

A Perfect Organism. Its Structural Perfection is Matched Only By Its Ability to Talk Like Cliff Clavin on Cheers.

A secret government agency dedicated to child-power energy generation recruits a crack team of agents -blue ogre Sully, walking eyeball Mike, a Brobdingnagian Sigourney Weaver, and a cockroach with the body of Hugh Laurie - to combat an invading horde of acid-spewing extraterrestrials whose offspring burst out of people's stomachs.

Monsters, Inc. vs Aliens

Cheat sheet Monsters, Inc | Monsters Vs Aliens | Aliens

Contributor christo4o
Editor phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These You Look Like Ilsa, Only Animated and With No Legs | Living Buy'n'Large

Dammit, Jim! I'm an Ogre, Not a Physicist!

To rescue his swamp from an alien threat, an antisocial ogre enlists the help of Starfleet cadets Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhuru, Chekov, and Scott to transport a princess across the wilds of uncharted space. Along the way, the ogre falls in love and lots and lots of things blow up... and, according to the trailers, there's some sex.

Star Shrek

Cheat sheet Star Trek | Shrek

Contributor Jane 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Cold Feet | If You Build It, They Will Stomp

The long-awaited J. J. Abrams adaptation of Star Trek opens tomorrow... or in some cities, today.

Only Nixon Could Go to China

The crews of the Enterprise and the Excelsior must stop a plot by sexy, sexy English public school boys turned spies to prevent a peace treaty between the United Klingon Socialist Republics and the Federation.

Star Trek IV: Another Undiscovered Country 

Cheat sheet Star Trek IV: The Undiscovered Country | Another Country

Contributor Jane 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Aim for the Headmaster! | Tea for Two

Can we lock up and get drunk now? Aye, Sir! I'm workin' on it!

Four London working class petty criminals pool their money to hire the USS Enterprise and send it to the restricted Genesis planet to recover Spock's body, but the shit hits the fan and they end up owing half a million pounds to the Klingons before the day is over.

Star Trek III: The Search for Lock, Spock, and Two Smoking Barrels 

Cheat sheet Star Trek III: The Search for Spock | Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Contributor Jane 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Gawdon Bennet! The Power of Christ Compels You, Don' It? | Crying God for England, Harry, and Mr. Zorg!

To the last, I will grapple with thee... from Hell's heart, I stab at thee!

Admiral Kirk, now feeling his age and riding a desk at Starfleet, agrees to accompany Norwegian explorer Thor Heyerdahl on a voyage to prove that adventurous Peruvians could have populated remote Ceti Alpha star system. Expecting an uneventful star cruise, the Admiral is shocked to learn that Ceti Alpha Five is now in the hands of his nemesis, the pectorally-gifted eugenicist Khan Noonian Singh!

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kon-Tiki 

Cheat sheet Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan | Kon-Tiki

Contributor Jane 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These There's No Crying in Squid Battles! | By Grabthar's Hammer!

Apropos of almost nothing, a distant relative of Thor Heyerdahl stars in one of our favorite H.P. Lovecraft-inspired films, Out of Mind.

It's life, Captain, but not life as we know it.

When an alien entity threatens the economically strangled small town of Anarene, TX, high school seniors Sonny and Duane call on The USS Enterprise to rescue them and their sleepy berg. Kirk, Spock, and their friends not only save Anarene, but also Sam the Lion's failing movie theater... by joining Star Wars in reviving science fiction as a money-making motion picture genre, with or without believable plot lines or compelling characters.

Star Trek: The Last Picture Show 

Cheat sheet Star Trek: The Motion Picture | The Last Picture Show

Contributor Scott 
Editor Jane

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Man's Best Weapon is the Will to Survive... and a Hatchet | I Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing

Beam Me Up, Thursday Three-Way!

Every Thursday is Three-Way Day at My Left Footloose! Enjoy three (or more) related My Left Footloose movies for the price of one. Tell your friends you're having a three-way and let 'em wonder who with.

This week marks the opening of one of the most anticipated science fiction movie premiers since Lucas turned Star Wars into a teenybopper romance. That's right: J. J. Abrams has retooled Star Trek with fast cars, hot boys and girls, actual sex, and 21st century CGi, and it's opening this week to the delight of millions of Trek-obsessed fans from all generations. 

I must admit that I, Jane, your proprietress here at My Left Footloose, was not a big Trek fan growing up. It holds a special place in my heart, however, because were it not for Trekkies I would not have had anyone to date in high school. In my efforts to get close to the boys who would condescend to hold my hand in the back of the band bus, I learned to appreciate the hamhanded morality and shaky special effects that made Trek special. I became conversant in basic Klingon and even cultivated a crush on Jonathan Frakes. And now I find myself unreasonably excited that J. J. Abrams - he of Lost and Alias and Cloverfield - is finally releasing his sexed-up take on the Starfleet mythos.

So we give you today's Thursday Three-Way: five mashups dedicated to the legacy of Shatner and Nimoy and Mr. & Mrs. Roddenberry. Sit back and enjoy the explosions

PS: For a Trek-related belly laugh, check out The Exurban League's Star Trek Trivia article. 

Things That Go SNIKKKT! in the Night

On the night of a full moon, young Michael J. Fox is bitten by a rabid Hugh Jackman. As a result, he is cursed to transform every month into a surly mutant with spring-loaded metal claws.

Teen Wolverine

Cheat sheet Teen Wolf | X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Contributor Phil
EditorPhil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Hey Mes Loups-Garous! Let's Put on a Show! | A Thermodynamic Miracle

X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the latest comic-generated blockbuster starring Hugh Jackman's naked chest, opens tonight. It promises to be quite the manfest, with testosterone for all tastes: Jackman, of course, as well as Dom Monaghan, Liev Schreiber, Will i Am, Kevin Durand, Daniel Henney, Ryan Reynolds, and the congenitally smoldering Taylor Kitsch (of Friday Night Lights) as Gambit.