My Left Footloose

You'll See A Woman Dressed Just Like You: Green Scales. Wings. Sunglasses.

New York cabbie Pete Robbins (Michael Sarrazin) shares a house with invisible dragon Elliott (voice of Barbra Streisand). Acting on a tip from another driver, Pete decides to invest in pork bellies, but needs $3000. Elliott decides to get the money by dealing with various disreputable characters: loan sharks, cattle rustlers, and Pete's abusive adoptive parents

For Pete's Dragon's Sake

Cheat sheet For Pete's Sake | Pete's Dragon

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Turning In Her Ovaries For A Bunch Of Balloons | You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious

Is A Blind Woman the Ideal Girlfriend For An Invisible Dragon?

Pete (Edward Norton) has grown up to become a profiler in the FBI's Behavioral Sciences unit. Charged with investigating a series of bizarre ritual murders, he comes to suspect that they are the work of his childhood companion, Elliott the Dragon (voiced by Ralph Fiennes), who has acquired a taste for William Blake. Reasoning that it takes a monster to catch a monster, Pete consults with infamous incarcerated serial-killer psychopath Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Mickey Rooney).

Pete's Red Dragon

Cheat sheet Pete's Dragon | Red Dragon

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These The Great Red Dragon and the Man Clothed in Another Man's Skin | Hey, Kids! Let's Put on a Show!

Red Dragon, schmed schmagon. The definitive treatment of Thomas Harris' novel remains Michael Mann's magnificent Manhunter

The Invisible Dragon Sure Sounds Like James Bond

Dennis Quaid stars as Pete, a disillusioned ex-knight fleeing the evil King Terminus (Jim Dale), accompanied by his invisible green dragon companion, Elliott (voiced by Sean Connery). But the past is not so easily evaded, as an old act of loyalty draws Pete and Elliott back to the kingdom of Passamaquaddy to right a great wrong and free the people they had turned their backs on.

Pete’s Dragonheart

Cheat sheet Pete’s Dragon | Dragonheart

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Luck Dragon Tails | Second Star to the Right, Then Straight On ‘Til You See the Big Goat Guy

It’s a very cheesy movie, but I like Dragonheart. Here’s a fan-made trailer that I think captures some of the best elements of the movie.

Save Against Sucking? What a Time to Roll a 1!

Empress Pete (Thora Birch) holds a powerful scepter that allows her to control the mighty invisible dragon, Elliott, protector of the Empire of Passamaquaddy. A coalition of evil forces, including the mage Profion (Jeremy Irons) and the Empress’s own parents, the Gogans (led by Shelley Winters), seek a similar magical item that will allow them to control the red dragons and overthrow Pete’s benign and progressive rule. Pete’s only hope is a misfit band of adventurers featuring Snails the Thief (Marlon Wayans) and the Dwarf Elwood “Lampie” Gutworthy (Mickey Rooney). And Doctor Who shows up as an old elf, for some reason.

Dungeons & Pete’s Dragon

Cheat sheet Dungeons & Dragons | Pete’s Dragon

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I feel like I’ve been in a coma for the past twenty years, and I’m just now waking up. | Man is in the Forest!

Yeah, we were all sad about the way the Dungeons & Dragons movie turned out. Here’s a trailer for the movie most fans wanted to see.

An Extraordinary Young Man at a Crossroad in His Life. Also, a Dragon.

Master Li Mu Bai (Chow Yun Fat) and the unacknowledged love of his life, Yu Shu Lien (Helen Reddy) search for the thief of the Green Destiny Sword – actually a disguised cartoon dragon named Elliot – tracking it to Pasamaquaddy, Maine. There, they find it in the possession of a young man named Pete (Zhang Zhiyi), who uses his extraordinary martial arts abilities and Elliot’s fiery breath to fight off the evil duo of Dr. Terminus (Jim Dale) and the Jade Fox (Cheng Pei-Pei) while saving a ship in a terrible storm and taking part in extravagant musical numbers.

Crouching Tiger, Pete’s Dragon

Cheat sheet Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon | Pete’s Dragon

Contributor Christo4o
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through the Tang Dynasty, son. | Zip-a-dee-doo-dah! Zip-a-dee-ay! My, oh, my what a crapulent day!

And if you think that’s a strange mix, check this out.

In the Dark Ages, Dragons Were Cartoons

Apprentice wizard Pete (Peter MacNicol) is sent by his master to slay a dragon to stop its terrible practice of demanding virgin sacrifices. When he meets the dragon, however, the two form a friendship that allows them to stand against the mundane oppression of the outside world. And then the dragon has to go and kill the princess, ruining everything.

Pete’s Dragonslayer

Cheat sheet Pete’s Dragon | Dragonslayer

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These No One Understands Him But His… Prince? | I Rolled 2D6 With Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti

Aside from the title, this little clip really has nothing to do with either movie. But the guy shoots of a home-made bazooka – how cool is that?

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My Left Footloose and an Invisible Green Friend Celebrate GenCon Indy

You may have noticed things have been quiet around here lately. That's because we've been preparing for a very special event.

This Thursday through Sunday, gamers from all over the world are gathering in Indianapolis, Indiana for GenCon, to revel in our geekitude among our own kind. At least two of the crew here are going to be attending. To commemorate this year’s festivities, My Left Footloose presents for your enlightenment and delectation a collection of mash-ups featuring that most feared of creatures – the invisible green dragon – and his minion, Pete.

Be afraid. Nothing can save you now but a critical.

For those of you unfamiliar with our feature film, here’s the trailer.

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She Will Tear Up The Whole town Until She Finds Ivan (Or, Everybody's Seeing Shiites These Days)

It's been a bad week for Pepa. Her lover Ivan left her, and his psycho ex-wife is hounding her. Her doctor tells her she's pregnant. Her best friend Candela is wanted by the police for her association with terrorist. And to top it off, after a close encounter with an alien spaceship, she just can't stop growing. But can her now-Brobdingnagian stature help her find Ivan, protect Candela, and foil a terrorist plot?

Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Cheat sheet Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman | Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Contributor the Jersey City Mods
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Come in Pieces | Parting More Than The Heavens

Ah, they just don't make them like this anymore.

Wes Craven Gets Drunk and Writes a Touching Comedy

After being told he’s got a terminal medical condition, comedian George Simmons (Adam Sandler) takes a young boy named Fool (Brandon Adams) as they go to try out their new stand-up act in a comedy club run by an insane brother and sister (Everett McGill and Wendy Robie). As George comes to appreciate his life anew, he and Fool manage to save the kidnapped, captive comedians locked in the basement and reunite with the love of George’s life (Leslie Mann).

The Funny People Under the Stairs

Cheat sheet Funny People | The People Under the Stairs

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Teaching’s No Different From Hockey | Insert Blood-Drinking (and Communion) Reference Here

Here’s a glimpse of the trailer for Funny People, opening today.

Eat the Cookie! (It's Made With Reese's Pieces)

The Dollanger children move to their grandparents' summer home under the condition, imposed by their stern grandmother (Louise Fletcher), that they remain sequestered in the attic and never venture downstairs. Their strange new life of implied incest and sugared donuts is threatened when an invading force of extraterrestrials also moves into the attic. Mayhem ensues. Memorable scenes of oldest daughter Cathy (Kristy Swanson) going all Slayer on the ETs.

Alien Flowers in the Attic

Cheat sheet Aliens in the Attic | Flowers in the Attic

Contributor Phil
Editor Phil

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I'm Every Woman | Quit Pickin' On My Girlfriend!

Aliens in the Attic opens tomorrow. We fear for the future of humanity.

The Most Exciting Talked About Magnificent Motion Picture of a Lifetime That Changed The World Forever!

In the crumbling town of Atlantastan, a city in a nation rife with civil unrest, a couple, Scarlett O'Hara (Carol Burnett) and Mahatma Gandhi (Ben Kingley), fall passionately in love while fighting on separate sides of the war. She is on the side of the rich land and slave owners that built the lustrous country into a desirable mecca for all the rich to enjoy. He fights for the unification of all the people of the land so that everyone may live peacefully in loving peace with enough love and peace to share forever and ever. Sadly, they cannot reconcile their vast differences, so she hires a sharp-shooting hitman named Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) to assassinate Ghandi. Scarlett and Rhett fall in love and run away to the West Indies, where they find out what it's really like when people don't get along.

Ghandi With The Wind

Cheat sheet Ghandi | Gone With The Wind

Contributor Christo4o
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Get Down With Your Funky, Lupine Self! | Naked Ambition

An episode from their weekly television broadway show, Carol and the gang bring us their version of the classic American civil war love story.

If Do Properly, No Can Defense.

Displaced New Jerseyite Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio) finds a mentor in aging bank robber and handyman, Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman). Butch teaches his young protégé how to defend himself against the Cobra Kai, a gang from a local karate school. To settle things once and for all, Butch convinces Daniel to enter the local karate tournament, never dreaming that the final opponent is the entire Bolivian Army!

Butch Cassidy and the Karate Kid

Cheat sheet Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid | The Karate Kid

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These The Man in the Black Pajamas… A Worthy Adversary | What’s the Best Way to Take a Bridge? Punch It in the Face, Apparently.

This movie made an indelible mark on my psyche when it first came out. This scene is, to many people of my generation, a defining moment in cinema. And no, I’m not telling you what generation that is.

And, just for fun, here’s a very famous kick from the other movie.

No. Really. Get Me to the Church on Time. I’m Not Kidding.

To win a bet, the Bishop of Aquila (Rex Harrison) undertakes to transform a common woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) into a noble hawk and a gallant swordsman (Rutger Hauer) into a vicious wolf. Young thief Philippe The Mouse (Matthew Broderick) works with a retired Colonel Pickering (Wilfrid Hyde-White) to undo the transformation before the Bishop can present the pair at the Embassy Ball. Features such famous Lerner and Lowe musical numbers as “Wouldn’t It Be Wolverly” and “I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Beak.”

My Fair Ladyhawke

Cheat sheet My Fair Lady | Ladyhawke

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Friend-friend, or euphemism-friend? | I’m Just a Girl Who Cain’t Say No

The wonderfully fun first meeting between Philippe and Navarre in Ladyhawke. I love this movie.

My Left Footloose Kicks Some Vampire Ass

Stakes stashed, bloodsuckers dispatched, flipcharts full of ideas folded and tucked in our bug-out bags, we return from the first-possibly-annual My Left Footloose corporate retreat refreshed and ready to mash some damn movies. Huzzah!

A few changes are in store for you, our small but brilliant readership. For instance, we're cutting the Thursday Three-way free. Now, instead of a regular Thursday themed extravaganza, the Three-Way (or Four-Way, or whatever it is you get when you get really, really lucky) is a freely-roaming feast. It could happen any day, any time, for any reason. Unexpected Monday morning gaggle of film noir musicals? Booyah! A herd of nature documentary romantic comedies? A murder of animated serial killer feel-good flicks? Wear your rubbers, kids. This could get messy.

What else? Well, you'll just have to stick around and see. We have lots of ideas.

One thing's for sure, the town of Forks, WA, will have fewer sparkly teenagers to worry about. For that, we declare our retreat a success.

That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
Jane, Rick, Steve, Scott, Dawn, Phil, and the My Left Footloose undead crime scene cleanup crew

And Proud We Are of All of Him.

We try to keep our personal lives out of My Left Footloose, for obvious reasons including saving our friends (and possibly the police) from the embarrassment of having to stage continuous interventions, but this we had to share. Please enjoy below our very own Scott Glancy, My Left Footloose resident gun nut and Husband in Chief, talking with CNN on the night he won Best Walter 2009 at Seattle's Lebowskifest. (Yeah, he's the one at the end who, y'know, looks like Walter.)

For the whole story on CNN click here. You can read even more on ESPN.

We All Have Hearts of Thin Ice

The budding romance between a lovelorn television producer and Al Gore experiences a rude awakening when they realize there are only fifty years before this planet swallows all trace of humanity. This news both frightens and stimulates the lovers, inspiring an urgent passionate ardor which sparks enough energy to harness the weather and return conditions to the proper atmospheric comfort-level. Things get ugly when they realize that their parting will result in the annihilation of all humankind.

The Ugly Inconvenient Truth

Cheat sheet The Ugly Truth | An Inconvenient Truth

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Sins of the Fathers | They're thinking, "Duchovny thought his career would get better after this?"

Click for chick flick pic-nic...

Mean Streets, and Meaner Sagebrush

Private eye Phillip Marlowe (Elliott Gould) drives a friend (James Keach) from LA to Tijuana. When he returns home, he finds a posse waiting to arrest him for aiding and abetting the escape of his friend, who turns out to be none other than Jesse James! Dogged, relentless Marlowe tracks Jesse from his apparent suicide in Mexico back to Missouri, catching up with him just as Robert Ford (Nicholas Guest) guns the outlaw down.

The Long Goodbye Riders

Cheat sheet The Long Goodbye | The Long Riders

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These How do you like your brandy, sir? In a glass. | Remind me never to play poker in this town.

In 1969, MGM released a movie called Marlowe, based on Chandler’s short story "The Little Sister". It starred James Garner and Bruce Lee, which pretty much blew my mind. Here’s their first meeting.

My Left Footloose Wishes it Could be a Hard-as-Nails, Wisecracking Private Investigator

Raymond Chandler, the creator of iconic PI Phillip Marlowe, was born on this date back in 1888. He and Dashiell Hammet pretty much redefined the mystery novel with their work, forever linking the idea of film noir with the movies they inspired.

So happy birthday, Raymond. Thanks for everything.

~Rick

Here’s a little wit and wisdom from the man himself.

Corporate Retreat, My Left Footloose Style

This being the height of summer (and the only week of sunshine per year in the Pacific Northwest), we here at My Left Footloose are taking the opportunity to stage a retreat. We are packing up our laptops and our melee weapons and heading into the woods around Forks, WA, for a little brainstormin' and vampire huntin'.

While we're gone, we're replacing our usual Thursday Three-Way and Friday new release features with one awesome Raymond Chandler tribute mash-up and one tragic, environmentally doomed romance.

We'll be back Monday with all sorts of new ideas for My Left Footloose and, if we're lucky, a few sparkling new vampire pelts for our mantelpieces.

Until then, keep your stakes sharp and beware of beautiful boys who sniff you in high school cafeterias!
Jane, Scott, Phil, Steve, Rick, Dawn
(and the My Left Footloose Retreat Planning and Undead Dispatch Committee)

That’s It. I’m Never Going Fishing Again.

Two fly-fishing brothers (Craig Sheffer and Brad Pitt) accidentally hook the body of a young woman out of Boston’s Mystic River. The discovery of the corpse draws them into the childhood tragedy that links three men (Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim Robbins), where suspicion, misunderstanding, and the neighborhood code of silence lead to another tragic murder.

A Mystic River Runs Through It

Cheat sheet A River Runs Through It | Mystic River

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These The Allure of Small Town Girls | Albania’s Hard To Rhyme

The chilling confession scene from Mystic River.

Truth Needs a Game Show Host

In a tangled web of private agendas, temporary CIA Deputy Director Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) turns to top field operative Chuck Barris (Sam Rockwell). Despite his troubled personal life and commitments to the Dating Game and The Gong Show, Barris helps Ryan extract a covert assault team from Colombia and expose their own government’s secret crimes. Also, Barris sleeps with Drew Barrymore.

Clear and Present Dangerous Mind

Cheat sheet Clear and Present Danger | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These It’s the Plumbers. They’ve Come to Fix the Sink. | Forster. E M Forster.

You know, they actually turned The Gong Show into a movie at one point. Don’t believe me? Watch this.

Disney May Not Approve of This One

A pair of alien children (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig), apparently abandoned by their parents on Earth to try and avert an invasion, enlist the help of a pair of cowboys (Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal) and a cabbie (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) to help them evade the evil forces hunting them and get them back home. But an unusual bond develops between the cowboys, leading to a night of passion that the children shouldn’t have been allowed to watch, and which makes the cabbie strangely thoughtful.

Race to Brokeback Mountain

Cheat sheet Race to Witch Mountain | Brokeback Mountain

Contributor Rick
Editor Rick

If you Liked This, You'll Love These I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Doc | I feel like I’ve been in a coma for the past twenty years, and I’m just now waking up.

This is just wrong. On every conceivable level. But you’re going to watch it anyway, aren’t you?

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl doesn't. Boy sucks the life out of everything.

An offbeat comedy vampire romance about unrequited love in the eternal damnation of preternatural immortality. A young bloodsucker, wintering in Alaska, meets a sweet native girl named Summer. They hit it off and spend many hours together just hanging out and getting really into each other... until she finds out his deep, dark secret: he is a bloodthirsty freak-of-the-ever-after. Also, she can't commit. Though she loves our hero, she is not 'in love' with him. He spends the rest of eternity wooing her through back streets and dark alleys in the nightlife of space and time, sucking all the joy out of everything.

500 Days of Night

Cheat sheet 500 Days of Summer | Days of Night

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Paging Mr. Toaster. White Courtesy Telephone, Please. | Insert Blood-Drinking (and Communion) Reference Here

IKEA Guerilla Theater!

Dark Secrets Revealed About One of the Greatest Love Stories Never Told

Miss Beatrix Potter is a young woman whose mother has forbidden her to enter the local school of sorcery. However, the temptation is too much. She applies, is accepted, and attends the school where she learns all about wishing and mycology. When an amorous changeling half-rabbit/half-man named Harry begins chasing her about campus, Miss Potter uses all of her powerful education to transform herself into a scarecrow and frighten him away.

Miss Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Cheat sheet Miss Potter | Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Contributor Dawn
Editor Miss Spell

If you Liked This, You'll Love These Won't you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride? | Leapin' Lepus!

Not all imaginary giant rabbits are our friends.

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New Release Friday: Don't Be Late For A Very Important Date!

My Left Footloose explores the magical wonders of inter-species dating and true summer love as we prepare for the eagerly anticipated release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince... and some oddball love story. Hot times await.

Make tonight one enchanted evening.