My Left Footloose

My Left Footloose Kicks Some Vampire Ass

Stakes stashed, bloodsuckers dispatched, flipcharts full of ideas folded and tucked in our bug-out bags, we return from the first-possibly-annual My Left Footloose corporate retreat refreshed and ready to mash some damn movies. Huzzah!

A few changes are in store for you, our small but brilliant readership. For instance, we're cutting the Thursday Three-way free. Now, instead of a regular Thursday themed extravaganza, the Three-Way (or Four-Way, or whatever it is you get when you get really, really lucky) is a freely-roaming feast. It could happen any day, any time, for any reason. Unexpected Monday morning gaggle of film noir musicals? Booyah! A herd of nature documentary romantic comedies? A murder of animated serial killer feel-good flicks? Wear your rubbers, kids. This could get messy.

What else? Well, you'll just have to stick around and see. We have lots of ideas.

One thing's for sure, the town of Forks, WA, will have fewer sparkly teenagers to worry about. For that, we declare our retreat a success.

That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
Jane, Rick, Steve, Scott, Dawn, Phil, and the My Left Footloose undead crime scene cleanup crew

And Proud We Are of All of Him.

We try to keep our personal lives out of My Left Footloose, for obvious reasons including saving our friends (and possibly the police) from the embarrassment of having to stage continuous interventions, but this we had to share. Please enjoy below our very own Scott Glancy, My Left Footloose resident gun nut and Husband in Chief, talking with CNN on the night he won Best Walter 2009 at Seattle's Lebowskifest. (Yeah, he's the one at the end who, y'know, looks like Walter.)

For the whole story on CNN click here. You can read even more on ESPN.

Corporate Retreat, My Left Footloose Style

This being the height of summer (and the only week of sunshine per year in the Pacific Northwest), we here at My Left Footloose are taking the opportunity to stage a retreat. We are packing up our laptops and our melee weapons and heading into the woods around Forks, WA, for a little brainstormin' and vampire huntin'.

While we're gone, we're replacing our usual Thursday Three-Way and Friday new release features with one awesome Raymond Chandler tribute mash-up and one tragic, environmentally doomed romance.

We'll be back Monday with all sorts of new ideas for My Left Footloose and, if we're lucky, a few sparkling new vampire pelts for our mantelpieces.

Until then, keep your stakes sharp and beware of beautiful boys who sniff you in high school cafeterias!
Jane, Scott, Phil, Steve, Rick, Dawn
(and the My Left Footloose Retreat Planning and Undead Dispatch Committee)

New Release Friday: Don't Be Late For A Very Important Date!

My Left Footloose explores the magical wonders of inter-species dating and true summer love as we prepare for the eagerly anticipated release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince... and some oddball love story. Hot times await.

Make tonight one enchanted evening.

Thursday Three-Way Shoots the, Y'Know, Moon

Earth's moon hangs brightly in our summer skies this week. Though there are many moons in our solar system, ours is the one we call, 'The Moon'. You may think that the moon is made from the stuff that inspires poets, lovers, dreamers, and doers. Or lunatics. But it is merely dust, ice, craters, and shadows. In honor of the penumbral eclipse of this week's full moon, we present you with a series of moon mash-ups inspired by the rough and rocky terrain of our companion satellite. Sit back in the lawn chair, sip your favorite ice-cold beverage, and be thankful things are not worse.

Every Thursday is Three-Way Day at My Left Footloose! Enjoy three (or more) related My Left Footloose movies for the price of one. Tell your friends you're having a three-way and let 'em wonder who with.

For the astronomy buffs among us, a bit of quite interesting space trivia from BBC panel show QI.

Phew! (Now, if only I could apply my love of ninjas and giant sideburns to other important decisions...)

Flummoxed by the crapstorm of summer blockbusters? Calm down and use this handy flowchart from www.holytaco.com to simplify your choices.

(Speaking of crapstorm, www.holytaco.com is a veritable crapstorm of half naked girls posing as if they want you amongst unsophisticated misogyny masquerading as humor. It's awesome if you like that sort of thing. If not, you may want to don a body condom before heading over there. I'm just sayin'.)

My Left Footloose Salutes the Crack of Dawn (and also Rick)

(It was a joke imperative. Please forgive us.)

It is with great pleasure that we introduce two new writers to the My Left Footloose Unholy Cadre of Wrongness: Rick Neal and Dawn Stott. Huzzah! Dawn and Rick join Phil, Steve, Scott, and myself as your guides to all the best and worst in movie mash-ups.

Rick Neal, blogger, naturally funny person, and proud Canadian, joined us several weeks ago and has been bringing it ever since. Bringing what? Sly, dry humor, encyclopedic knowledge of history and pop culture, and an appreciation for all things nerdlike. Rick holds the honor of being one of the first people on whom we unleashed our passion for movie title mash-ups, and remains the world champion at pulling these things out of his ass long after everyone else has pummeled him with pillows, given up, and fallen asleep (try sharing a hotel room with him some time and you'll see what we mean). Rick is a dear friend and an excessively funny human and we are proud to bring him to you. Welcome, Rick!

Dawn Stott is many things to many people: enthusiastic volunteer, energetic promoter and community organizer, wry and insightful writer, and generous friend. I have been following her writing for nigh unto ten years and she has never failed to engage me with her stories of life in San Francisco and beyond. We are lucky to have snagged her twisted tongue and taste for the bizarre for the benefit of My Left Footloose readers. Her debut is tomorrow, and just for good measure we also turned her loose on this week's Thursday Three-Way. Welcome, Dawn!

As our readership grows, I am proud to know that these quality people will be along for the ride. Join me in applauding and enjoying them.

Jane (and the My Left Footloose Guerrilla Recruiting Team)

Facebooks Are Go!

We here at My Left Footloose World Domination Headquarters spend a considerable amount of our time figuring out ways to enhance your life (and waste your time) in an enjoyable and decidedly un-informative manner. The latest in our suite of time-wasting innovations is our newly revived Facebook page.

We know what it's like. Most of your day is spent in hunting and gathering (food, money, power tools, animal tranquilizers, mates), and the free time you have is limited. You may not have time to feed your pets, sex your significant other, hike local landmarks and claim them in the name of Spain, check Facebook, and go to My Left Footloose for a cinema-related laugh. So we're making it easy for you. My Left Footloose within Facebook.

My Left Footloose on Facebook

After you look at photos of your friends' dogs and read up on what your friends think are the 5 Most Important Zombie Fighting Tools, go to our Facebook page and enjoy a nice movie mash-up or two.

While you're there become a fan, share with your friends, discuss, post pictures of your dog (or your zombies), whatever. We like you. We want to see you on Facebook. If you're nice we'll name a local landmark after you. 

Jane

(and the My Left Footloose Social Notworking Team)

PS: Use the Share on Facebook links at the bottom of each My Left Footloose post here to share your favorite posts with your friends. We don't mind at all. Not one bit.

The Return of the Thing

Hello and welcome to Day 1 of My Left Footloose's triumphant return to the blogging world. Thanks for the vacation. Zombies vanquished (and many kittens saved), we return fresh from battle with new titles, a mild case of cat scratch fever, and an unholy cadre of new writers... if two can be called a cadre. I'm looking that up.

Please welcome to My Left Footloose Phil and Steve. Way back in the '90s when we were but children, Phil edited a fantastic nonfiction zine called Sacred City. Steve and I wrote for that zine. Eager to resume that partnership (and possibly the beer drinking that went with it), I'm happy to bring Steve and Phil into the My Left Footloose fray and turn them loose on your submissions. Phil and Steve are two of the funniest and smartest writers I've read and I fear that My Left Footloose is a little beneath them, but don't tell them I said so. Please welcome them and feel free to comment and let them know what you think of their work.

Big thanks, by the way, to the crapload of you who applied to write for us. As Phil, Steve, and I work out the kinks we may be bringing other writers in. When that happens, be assured that we will be contacting several of you to help out. My Left Footloose readers are among the coolest and smartest on the Web and we're grateful to know how many of you are interested in playing our little game with us.

And now, without further yacking from me, we present the next incarnation of My Left Footloose!

Aim for the head,

Jane

Unholy Cadre Wanted!

As you know, we're planning a return to the, er, whatever-o-sphere on April 1 of this year. In preparation for that glorious day, we're holed up in My Left Footloose World Domination Headquarters (fully zombie fortified, by the way, picture below) making plans and drawing diagrams full of arcane and scholarly symbols and building gizmos that spin and spark. Our goal is to create a whole new My Left Footloose that captures the bold weirdness of the original site with vastly improved sustainability and an eerie yellow glow.

To that end, we seek a small stable/posse/unholy cadre of writers who will help us keep My Left Footloose up to date on a regular basis. We need people who are not only capable of contributing great My Left Footloose titles, but who are willing to turn their own and others' contributions into compelling, witty, and reliable copy. If you are a movie fan and a pretty good journeyman writer (pro or heck, even if you just write witty things in the shower), we want you!

You must be willing to...

• dependably write 2-5 My Left Footloose entries per week (that's about 20-90 minutes of work)

• work with others' contributions, not just your own, and make them look great

• follow a template that has some very minor HTML code

• work independently 

• accept direction and editing from time to time

You are...

• a movie fan (any genre will do)

• mostly up to date on current pop culture (or can fake it)

• a pretty darned good writer

• smart, funny, or preferably both

• reliable, and communicative when you can't be reliable

We can't pay you (well, yet... not until our World Domination Plan enters the profit phase) but you will earn a nice following (MLF readers are generous and communicative) and a real writing credit on a respected entertainment blog. Sometimes we schmooze other blog writers, and you'll be in on that as well. You never know who you might impress with My Left Footloose in your resume. That's something. 

If you're interested, drop me a line here. Let me know why you want to work with us, what kind of writing you've done in the past, that sort of thing. If you have never contributed to My Left Footloose before, try making up some My Left Footloose titles. If you aren't familiar with our work, check out our archives. Keep it casual, though. This isn't an audition. We'll talk and maybe trade samples before we make a decision.

In the meantime, keep your napalm properly sealed and keep aiming for the head.

Jane

My Left Footloose Human (and Non-Human) Resources

She'll Be Back!

Hello, Friends of My Left Footloose! 

We have news! Some of you may know that we have been working on a nonprofit effort to improve the plight of stray and feral cats. It's the soft place in our hearts and heads - the little buggers who beg for food and bite us when we try to pet them, and who have babies every spring who need our care. Some of you are familiar with George, the abandoned kitten we took in last spring. George is just the latest in a long line of cats who hit hard luck before finding a home with us. After several years of deliberation we've finally decided to do something bigger, and we've found something we can do. Hence... 

George's Friends

George's Friends is developing a community-based model to help neighborhoods implement compassionate TNR (trap/neuter/return) programs for stray and feral cats. Working with animal-loving volunteers, we are learning how to effectively and economically control feral cat populations using humane methods in areas of the country where low cost spaying and neutering is not readily available. 

In order to devote the time necessary to starting George's Friends (with dozens of living beings depending on us in our first phase and the potential to make a national impact in partnership with other cats' charities), we've reluctantly decided to take a six month hiatus from new content on My Left Footloose. Please look for our return by April 1, 2009 (and nope, the date isn't a subtle hint that we're joking). We'll leave our archives up, however, so you can always come and check it out for a laugh.

Before we go, we want to take a moment to thank some of the people who've contributed their exceptional twisted cleverness to us over the past six months. To Christo4o, The Procrastinator, Mobflix, I Heart Movies, Phil, Rick, Mish, Michelle, Chris and Epiphany, Gino, and many others, we offer our undying thanks and our pledge that if you need help disposing of bodies, we'll lend you a shovel and some plastic bags (leave the gun, take the canoli, etc.). 

And to our readers, the many bold and clever and highly literate freaks who have followed our adventures from day to day, here's a salute. Like MacArthur and MacSchwarzenegger, we will return to the field of battle soon. 

Want a reminder when we start up again? Send me an e-mail here and we'll drop a line next spring. (privacy policy) We won't use your e-mail address for any other reason, we promise.

We'll be back!

Jane, Scott, and the My Left Footloose High School Varsity Wrestling Team

Just like the white-haired wizard says, "Have your pet spayed or neutered!"  

Goodbye, little George. Be a good girl. We'll always love you.

Boat Drinks and Submission

While on vacation, we haven't just been lounging about sipping boat drinks with our feet up. We've been working on a secret charity project, which we hope to link to very soon. And we've done some development behind the scenes, something we'd like to hip you to right now.

...drum roll...

We have a new submission form! Forget figuring out the maze of e-mail, Twitter, or Facebook submission possibilities. Forget wondering what the rules are. Forget worrying that we won't understand what you send us. Just fill in the form. Now, finally you can turn all that monstrous brain power toward being clever and funny instead of monitoring compliance with rules and steps. 

Huzzah! Enjoy!

Jane and the My Left Footloose Thousand Monkeys with Typewriters Squad

PS: Our new form is in a beta stage right now so we're still working out the last of the kinks. If you find something hinky with the form or our response to your submission, don't hesitate to contact us. We wanna fix it pronto, whatever it is.

En Vacances!

Hey kids! My Left Footloose will be on vacation for the next two weeks. The weather is beautiful. Wish you were here.

When we return on November 17, we'll have a weird unseasonal tan, a crapload of awesome mash-ups, a new submission form, and a strange and beautiful new partnership with I Heart Movies. 

Put your feet up, catch up on your reading, VOTE, and we'll see you when we get back!

Jane

and the My Left Footloose Massage and Boat Drinks Task Force

PS: Keep submitting mash-ups!

Under Construction... Literally

As some of you already know, we're remodeling My Left Footloose Headquarters. A rumor has circulated on the internet that this remodel centers around outfitting the building to withstand a zombie siege. For obvious security reasons, we are unable to comment on this rumor. However, we can tell you that construction proceeds now at an encouraging pace and we're receiving shipments of 50-gallon drums and sandbags almost daily now.  

We have entered a new phase of alarmingly-paced construction which will necessitate a change in our standard operating procedure. Because during the next few days our access to technological innovations like electricity and running water may be spotty, we'll be taking a break from posting movie title mash-ups beginning Thursday, September 18. However, this is only a break. (Fear not!) 

We will return to posting mash-ups on October 1. Until that time, please enjoy browsing our archive of over 500 brilliant mash-ups. Also feel free to comment on what you see and to submit new mash-ups. 

Keep your powder dry and aim for the head!

Jane 

(and the My Left Footloose Apocalypse Transition Team)

Taking a Weather Break

Hello, My Left Footloose readers! Hurricane Gustav is pointed at the Gulf coast and while we're not in the direct path of the storm, My Left Footloose headquarters is close enough to the maelstrom to require some battening down. So we're going to take a break from movie mash-ups for a few days, just until the storm is past and we and our friends down here in Alabama/Florida have everything wired together. 

For more info on preparations for, escape from, and rescue after the storm, visit the National Red Cross website and the Gustav Information Center.  

Best of luck to all in the path of this storm. Have a plan, know where your resources are, and be safe. George and I will be back soon!

Some Stars are Born

You've probably noticed that we've added some little stars to the top of each post that you can do stuff with. It's a ratings widget from Outbrain (go Outbrain - they're pretty awesome so far!). Theoretically, your ratings will tell us what you like the best, and eventually might even tell us whether it's OK for us to put up that one really frighteningly offensive but terribly clever mash-up about which we've hesitated and which we've discarded several times. 

Of course, we know that the data from a ratings widget is hardly scientific. We did our homework in Stats class. If we tried to do a national election this way we'd be thrown out of the Constitution on our asses.

So, why are we doing it? 'Cuz two reasons. First, it's about you, not about us. We always saw My Left Footloose as a little home for clever movie freaks. Clicking little stars is one way we connect with each other, then we find out new ways to get you involved, and things go from there. Connection doesn't have to be statistically significant. 

Secondly, if we ever do something with all of these movie mash-ups (we're thinking of printing them on cards and building a house, maybe), the little star ratings will give us a rough idea of which of your submissions were the most provocative, evocative, and other-thing-vocative, not just according to us but according to you. 

So, you know, vote! Rate! Click! Make your voice heard. Say something. Make the pretty little stars into colors and numbers. We really do care what you think! It's a wild, grand experiment and you are the wacky, bubbling reagent. Do you have that tingly feeling now?

Jane, your My Left Footloose Cruise Director

Shomer Shabbos!

Exhausted from a week of nonstop bowling and nihilism, the My Left Footloose Bowling Team is taking the day off. We'll be back in fine form on Monday to resume normal mash-up operations. 

Meanwhile, do you mind if we do a J?

The Dude Abides

 

 Lebowski Fest: Coming Soon to a Bowling Alley Near You

Did you miss Lebowski Fest in Louisville this year? Very undude! Still, you have multiple chances for redemption at these fine Lebowski Fests coming to a city near you.

   

(Be warned: The proprietors of My Left Footloose appear in the background of one of the 2007 Seattle Fest photos.)

Past Fests have been held in Copenhagen, Edinburgh, New York, and Austin. Future Fests could show up just about anywhere. Join the Lebowski Fest e-mail list for dates, places, tickets, and special announcements before, you know, the hippies and what-have-you hear about it and buy up all the Bowling Night tickets meant for you.

And if you can't get enough, there's also a book and a movie:

Phone's Ringing, Dude.

Reminder: Submissions for our Lebowski Fest celebration are due by Saturday, July 5! (Late "over the line!" entries if they're considered if they're really funny.) More information below. 

 

The 7th Annual Lebowski Fest happens July 11 & 12 in Louisville, KY. While there are Lebowskifests in other cities, this is the Big Kahuna... dare we say... it is the Walter Sobchak of Lebowski Fests. These are the big dogs. Unfortunately for us and anyone who'll listen, we will not be able to attend the Louisville Lebowski Fest this year. However, we will be celebrating all week (July 7-12) with Lebowski-themed mash-ups...

...and that's where you come in. Submit your best mash-ups of any Coen Brothers movie or any movie starring your favorite actor from The Big Lebowski. Heck, mash-up The Big Lebowski itself. Get your entries to us by July 5, and tune in to My Left Footloose starting July 7 for more white russians, pissing Chinamen, ringers full of undies, lothario cable repairmen, and naked Julianne Moores than you can shake an oriental rug at.

Your Big Lebowski submissions: they really tie the room together.

Abide,

Jane and the My Left Footloose Bowling Team

PS: Rules also include bowling movies, nihilism movies, movies with ashes in them, or movies about toes or rugs.

Special My Left Footloose Challenge: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

As you may already know, we here at My Left Footloose are rather fond of the movie The Big Lebowski. Okay, that's an understatement. We're not saying this is great cinema. We're saying IT'S GREAT CINEMA TO DRINK TO. And if there's a criteria that defines great cinema that is more important than that, we don't want to know what it is.

The 7th Annual Lebowski Fest happens July 11 & 12 in Louisville, KY. While there are Lebowskifests in other cities, this is the Big Kahuna... dare we say... it is the Walter Sobchak of Lebowski Fests. These are the big dogs. Unfortunately for us and anyone who'll listen, we will not be able to attend the Louisville Lebowski Fest this year. However, we will be celebrating all week (July 7-12) with Lebowski-themed mash-ups...

...and that's where you come in. Submit your best mash-ups of any Coen Brothers movie or any movie starring your favorite actor from The Big Lebowski. Heck, mash-up The Big Lebowski itself. Get your entries to us by July 5, and tune in to My Left Footloose starting July 7 for more white russians, pissing Chinamen, ringers full of undies, lothario cable repairmen, and naked Julianne Moores than you can shake an oriental rug at.

Your Big Lebowski submissions: they really tie the room together.

Abide, 

Jane and the My Left Footloose Bowling Team

PS: Rules also include bowling movies, nihilism movies, movies with ashes in them, or movies about toes or rugs.

We Tweet. Do You Tweet? Sweet!

We've jumped on the Web. 2.0 blahdiblah and now we have a Twitter account and a shiny new hat. Follow us on Twitter to get quick requests for submissions ("The new Crispin Glover blockbuster is coming out tomorrow. Give us a mash-up to celebrate!"), theme questions, maybe some occasional oddball movie trivia... and you can now submit content to us via Twitter Direct Message.

If you're not a Twitter member, join! It's free and easy and it doesn't suck - or more precisely you control what comes to you, so you control the amount of suck you get. And coolness too. You control the coolness. Yeah, I probably should have led with that.

Challenge: We'll be safe; we have the magic rocks.

A new My Left Footloose Challenge starts today: the films of M. Night Shyamalan.

Want to play? Go here: 

Animation Challenge: Last Chance!

This week's My Left Footloose Challenge ends tomorrow, June 4. That gives you about 24 hours to come up with your best My Left Footloose animated movie mashups.

Celebrate (or mock) the release of Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda with your own entries featuring your favorite animated films - Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, Cinderella, Akira, Masters of the Universe, Sleeping Beauty, Robin Hood, Bambi, Watership Down (why do all the good ones make you cry?)... you get the picture.

Get your brains in gear, and don't forget to cheat. Also, remember that under international My Left Footloose Mash-up Rules (which we made up, just now), Matrix: Revolutions is not a cartoon - even though it was bloody hard to tell the difference in the fight scenes.

Click the Challenge logo below to submit your challenge entries (or send an e-mail to myleftfootloose at gmail.com with "My Left Footloose Challenge" in the subject line).

Premature Posting Linked to Awesomeness

Ever since Typepad released its new Compose feature (which allows WYSIWYG editing, and mostly doesn't suck), it's been tending to post some of our My Left Footloose entries prematurely. We've been working with Typepad support to figure out why and we may have an answer.

Preliminary data suggests that the more awesome a blog post is, the more likely Typepad is to publish it early. And why wouldn't it? Take for instance, Butterfield Eight-Below. Typepad posted it at least three times before the actual scheduled publishing date of June 1. Seriously awesome post, so we're not surprised. After all, it features a young Elizabeth Taylor in a slip with a highball glass. We tended to, er, publish early in the face of that picture, too, if you know what I mean. And really, who hasn't watched that Magilla Gorilla intro and contemplated the ramifications of Jim Carrey as a giant ape? How much is that gorilla in the window, indeed!

We urge you to be patient. Typepad is a relatively young blog provider, and observation and experience has taught us that the younger a blog provider is, the more likely it is to blow its top in the presence of sheer awesomeness. We've found that the best solution is to just clean up the mess, assure Typepad that these things sometimes happen, and teach it about Kegel muscles and the soothing powers of mental math.

We hope the problem is solved now. We appreciate your patience.

Jane and the My Left Footloose crew

The Lady Vanishes!

Hello!

Our apologies for technical difficulties today. Typepad has implemented an awesome new Compose feature, which we love, but in the wake some seriously wacky things have happened to our posts, including several of them flat-out vanishing.

We're working with Typepad support right now to fix the issue. Please check back often. We'll get it all fixed as soon as we can.

Thank you!

Jane